🌿The Death You Prayed For

There was a time when I asked to die.
I didn’t say it out loud, but the ache was constant — a quiet wish to stop being the person who could not keep living well.
I didn’t know that God answers every prayer.

It just takes Him longer to explain what we were really asking for.

I have died — not as escape, but as release.
The self that kept trying to manage meaning has finally fallen silent.
The one who prayed for death found it, but not as the world defines it.
He answered by sharing His own.

In Christ, every cry for ending becomes a doorway.
What we think is the prayer of despair becomes the breath of resurrection.
The part of us that cannot bear life doesn’t need fixing — it needs to be buried in love.

So when you reach that place — the bottom prayer, the quiet surrender — don’t fear that you are losing faith.
It might be faith finally speaking its first honest word.
You are not dying alone.
You are dying in Him.

And the life that rises on the other side is not yours improved — it is His, alive in you.

🌾

Under the Sun / Beyond the Sun

You asked to die,
and He said yes —
not by ending you,
but by beginning Himself in you.